A sad story...

flashback...
it all started 3 yrs ago... i had strong feelings for this girl... yet aft some time we started to drift apart... although we broke up shortly aft tat i still cldn't forget her...

two days ago...
i juz finished dinner and den suddenly a strong bad feeling hit me... it's like classic anime style when u feel like smth bad is going to happen... shortly aftwards i went to check my phone... in it says we're giving a farewell party for her coz she's leaving for australia (which i know of alr... the flight is on the 14th)... tat's when it all started again... i had duty on saturday... and it's to east which means wad time i can make it depends on wad time the driver picks me up on sunday morning...

yesterday...
figured out 2 options i cld take... one is to change duty wif someone... or to risk smth happening leaving my dog over at east... decided e 1st one was safer but cldn't find anyone except the one covering base duty who's willing to change... base duty on sat is like a confirm 6 hours prowl which is like infinity times worse den e east duty which we juz go over there to sleep for standby... took me 2 hrs to finally decide it's worth e effort...

todae...
so the day comes... i went off at 6... much to the displease of my camp mates... apparently they wanted me to wash e kennels 1st b4 moving off but i guess if i left early i cld come back for breakfast and have a wash up b4 going down... but along the way smth inside me changed... images of wad had been / cld have been / mite have been came into my mind... all at the same time... it swayed my decision of going down... i do not know y... i even consulted someone abt it... but in the end...

no decision arrived... time made e choice for me... and so now i'm here... still sitting at home... not knowing whether to regret my foolishness...

knowing that u can't forget her is one... trying to love another while doing tat... it's a sin...

to everyone...


Gomenasai... Boku wa baka desu...

to her... sorrie for not going down today... dun think i'll be in the right mind and mood to be there... all the best in your studies, take care of yourself... i dun think u will miss me... but i'll definitely will

i'll be working on valentine's day

regards